Recovery

As it turns out, I needed surgery. Eight pins and a metal plate inserted in the wrist. I also had my carpal tunnel sliced open to relieve pressure and hopefully prevent nerve damage. The pain I experienced that first night is something I hope I never feel again. Today marks my second day after surgery and I'm going to see if I can do it without the heavy painkillers, which make me sick and "loopy." So far, it's been almost eight hours and I'm doing okay.

This feels a lot like being in mourning. I've gone through the anger, denial and acceptance stages and am staying as positive as I can, but every once in a while, a new thought or feeling enters my mind and I briefly fall apart again. The difference, I keep reminding myself, is that I haven't lost anything I can't get back. I need to focus on recovering as quickly as possible and take control of that which I can. Eat well, sleep lots and keep moving my fingers and arm like the doctor told me to. I want to be the patient who surprises him with how quickly I recover. 

Each night, as I close my eyes to fall asleep, I picture my body repairing itself. I focus my thoughts on my battered wrist and tell my bones to grow quickly. I believe in the power of the mind and I know my mind is strong.