Two Weeks Post-Op

It's been exactly two weeks since surgery. My follow-up appointment was five days ago and the doctor let me go right into the brace instead of a hard cast (the photo above was taken before this, so it's the dressing from the surgery, not the brace you see).

I'm so relieved since it's a lot lighter, cooler and removable, which means I can wear it in the water, take it off to shower and wash it after a run. the scars are pretty deep -- I have one down the palm of my hand and another zig-zaging lengthwise down the inside of my wrist. Looks like the surgeon sneezed. I have a few basic wrist exercises to do 3-4 times a day, but I start seeing a hand therapist tomorrow so I can really begin rehab.

Four days after surgery, I was back in the gym running on the treadmill. As the blood started to flow and my heart rate increased, the wrist began throbbing a bit. After one mile, I thought maybe I'd better ease back into this slowly so I stopped and did some leg exercises. The next day, I did 2 miles on the treadmill and rode the spin bike for a half hour. I noticed that the throbbing is the same whether I'm running or spinning, so it's not so much the motion or jostling of my arm as it is the increased blood flow to the injured area. To me, if the sensation is the same running as it on the bike, there's no reason I shouldn't be running.

At my follow up, I told the doctor I was already running. He was shocked. "Sorry, but this is what I do!" I said to him. He said I need to see him again in two weeks and no running until then, but I can ride the spin bike if I want. I asked why I can't run yet and his response was because nobody else has ever started to run this soon after surgery and "I don't think you want to be the test subject." I thought about this as I left his office, got on the subway, made my way back to the gym and ran 5 miles.

All American

It was a bittersweet moment when this certificate arrived in the mail the other day. Basically, it means I'm ranked in the top 10% of my age group nationally. It also means I'm invited to race in the Age Group Nationals this August. I was already aware I had qualified for Nationals when this showed up and was going until my crash abruptly ended that plan. I was excited to do it, so hopefully I'll qualify again.

Team Lipstick Shows Some Love

This afternoon, the team got together to cheer me up -- and that they did! It's amazing how great these women are at pulling together such a fabulous party on such short notice, complete with a full lunch spread, including dessert, and some amazing "get well soon" gifts (check out my new yellow jersey)! Also, look at how beautiful they are after a bike ride over the GW Bridge! 

I also got a bottle of wine, a Rocco cookbook (a fellow triathlete!), edible arrangement of fresh fruit and a box of chocolate-covered strawberries. My plan is to watch the Tour with the wine and fruit and wear the yellow jersey when I get on the indoor bike at the gym, hopefully by next week. 

I'm feeling a lot better and am completely off the heavy pain drugs. Just in time to enjoy that wine!

Recovery

As it turns out, I needed surgery. Eight pins and a metal plate inserted in the wrist. I also had my carpal tunnel sliced open to relieve pressure and hopefully prevent nerve damage. The pain I experienced that first night is something I hope I never feel again. Today marks my second day after surgery and I'm going to see if I can do it without the heavy painkillers, which make me sick and "loopy." So far, it's been almost eight hours and I'm doing okay.

This feels a lot like being in mourning. I've gone through the anger, denial and acceptance stages and am staying as positive as I can, but every once in a while, a new thought or feeling enters my mind and I briefly fall apart again. The difference, I keep reminding myself, is that I haven't lost anything I can't get back. I need to focus on recovering as quickly as possible and take control of that which I can. Eat well, sleep lots and keep moving my fingers and arm like the doctor told me to. I want to be the patient who surprises him with how quickly I recover. 

Each night, as I close my eyes to fall asleep, I picture my body repairing itself. I focus my thoughts on my battered wrist and tell my bones to grow quickly. I believe in the power of the mind and I know my mind is strong.

Broken

I always talk about how much seconds matter. In a race, just a few seconds can make the difference between reaching your goals (qualify for nationals, become pro or even just meet the personal standards you set) and falling short. In just seconds, everything can change.

While training out east this weekend, i had a pretty bad crash. I was riding a new bike on unfamiliar roads and probably going a bit too aggressively for the amount of sand and potholes that were around. I hit a pothole and skidded out moving at about 18 mph, I guess.

I'm a pretty good "tumbler" but this time I couldn't avoid a broken wrist -- probably caused by that enormous Garmin watch (DON'T WEAR A WATCH WHEN RIDING). It acted like a lever when I hit the ground and I don't think I would be sitting here in a cast if I had the watch mounted on the bike instead. If you look at the road rash up my left side and how in tact my hands are, you can tell I didn't try to break my fall.

If you see the bike, you'll be amazed. I seriously think I threw my body between it and the road (PROTECT THE QUEEN!!!). There's a small gash in the fork and one of the gear shifters snapped off the end of the right aerobar. A perfect little "SRAM" carbon nugget. A good samaritan stopped to help me. She told me to stay on the ground and leave the bike there so she could put me in her truck. Next thing she turns around and I'm standing in front of the hatchback with the bike slung over my good shoulder. It's funny the way we act when we're in shock.

Once inside the car, I just started bawling. Holding that beautiful little carbon fiber gem in my hand, I realized that every race I've been working toward, including the nationals in August, won't happen for me this year. The whole season is shot inside of a few seconds. It took some time to finally be thankful that I even had the ability to cry.

Luckily, the hospital wasn't far. Actually, it was as if I was heading to the ER and decided to crash on my way there. The nice lady "babysat" the bike for me while I waited for Rob to show up even though she clearly had somewhere to be. My parents came too, and I was glad to see them so calm. My mom and dad are awesome. Instead of using this to say it's a "wake up call" that I need to stop, they were saying how fast I'll bounce back and that I'll be out on the bike again before I know it. I'm so thankful for them. Also, it was great staying at their house that night. Who doesn't want mom when she's hurt, even at 35? I'm already thinking of setting up the bike trainer in their backyard so I can look at the water while I recover and rebuild.

It's easy to say this is it; "Jenn Place..out," and walk away thinking next time I may not be so lucky. The thought of getting back on the bike scares me right now, but I have to think that when I ride again, I'll be that much smarter and more experienced than I was before this happened. Sometimes lessons are learned the hard way. I also find it funny that this happened on July 4, the first day of the Tour de France. I mean, if Lance can come back from cancer, I can certainly handle this, right?